When you can see something happening that’s just wrong… should you stay quiet?

I did a short about this and said… YES. There comes a point where you have to stop saying “this is wrong”. 

And it generated some pretty strong feedback. 

This sounds like facism or communism to me. 

This is awful advice. 

So I wanted to build on that 15 second short, explain what I meant in more detail… so you can decide whether it’s terrible advice or not!!

Let me take you back in time… 

I was much younger. Early in my leadership career. And one of my team just wouldn’t let it drop. I remember sitting in my big red office chair (it was ugly and ridiculous, but I loved it…) and shaking my head. I knew they felt really hard done by in a decision, but they brought it up at every opportunity…

“Why did they decide to exclude me? They’re out to get me. The facts objectively indicate I should have been included.” Over and over again. In every conversation about anything at all, and it became utterly exhausting. 

No matter how often we explained the pros and cons that led to the decision, no matter how often we agreed it was a marginal call, no matter how often we asked them to just move on… they wouldn’t let it go. 

That’s the context I was imagining when I suggested: When you think something is wrong, AT SOME POINT you have to stop moaning and move on. 

Now… 

I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t ever disagree with your boss, or management… I’m actually all FOR telling your boss what you think. Always. Even when you disagree with them. Actually… Especially when you disagree with them. 

Getting ALL the opinions on the table that a NECESSARY for making good decisions. 

If the decision is illegal, immoral, solidly against your values, or you feel it puts you in a horrendous position with your professional integrity, you might have to take other action. 

Report it to a whistleblowing process, a regulator or the police. Resign and move on. Or quietly start looking for your next role and quit when the time is right. 

But if it was Option A or B, you passionately believe in Option A, and they chose Option B… 

At some point you HAVE to stop moaning, stay quiet and move on. 

The most valuable colleagues I’ve ever had would say things like… “I know you have lots of things to think about on this issue. But I want you to know what *I* think and why. That said, I know it’s your decision, and when you decide I’ll support getting it done.”

Be THAT person. Work on your relationships around the issues so people know you’re committed to the overall success of the business. Let your boss know you’re always going to tell them what you think, but commit to delivering decisions and making things work. And accept that this sometimes means you’re going to have to stay quiet and move on, when you think something’s wrong.

I don’t think that’s awful advice. 

What do you think? Leave me a comment. Let me know.