Too flouncy. Make it more concise, direct and in language targeted at a talented undergraduate (not a philosophy professor with time on her hands).

How to get Claude to sound more human.

But also… How to get ME to write in ways that will cut through.

There’s an old line about communication that you have to say it seven times, in seven ways, as if you’re talking to a seven year old.

The last bit isn’t because you should treat your colleagues or audience like children.

It’s because the message has to be simple enough for a seven-year-old to understand, or it won’t grab attention and it won’t stick. (It will just get drowned out in the noise of all the other information pouring at people every day.)